Here's something to keep you laughing!
Q. How can you stop a small child from spilling food at the
A. Feed him on the the floor.
Q. What happens to little girls who swallow bullets?
A. Their hair comes out in bangs.
A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplane
rides, but he balked at the $10 tickets.
"Let's make a deal," said the pilot. "If you and your wife can ride without making a single
sound, I won't charge you anything. Otherwise, you pay the ten dollars."
"Good deal!" said the farmer.
So they went for a ride. When they got back the pilot said, "If I hadn't
been there, I never would have believed it. You never made a sound!" "It wasn't
easy either," said the farmer. "I almost yelled when my wife fell out."
When the cop asked the prostrate man if he got the number of the hit-and-run driver, he said,
"No, but I'd recognize my wife's laugh anywhere."
Boy: "Ah, look at the cow and calf rubbing noses in the pasture. That sight makes me want to
do the same."
Girl: "Well, go ahead...it's your cow."
A new preacher had just began his sermon. He was a little nervous, and about ten minutes into the
talk his mind went blank. He remembered what they had taught him in the seminary when a situation
like this would arise - repeat your last point. Often this would help you remember when is coming next.
So he thought he would give it a try.
"Behold, I come quickly," he said. Still his mind was blank. He thought he would try it again. 'Behold
I come quickly, " Still nothing.
He tried it once more with such force he fell forward, knocking the pulpit to one side, tripping
over a flower pot, and falling into the lap of a little old lady in the front row.
The young preacher apologized and tried to explain what happened. 'That's all right, young man,"
said the little old lady. "It was my fault. I should have gotten out of the way. You told me
three times you were coming!"
Q. Why did the boy stand behind the donkey?
A. He thought he'd get a kick out of it.
Q. What is worse than finding a worm in an apple?
A. Finding half a worm.
Have a great day!!